Most Americans today get
a divorce because of their unhappy marriages. Many reasons why married couples get
a divorce. One of the reasons is due to not knowing how to be good parents because
of how they were raised. Another is having irreconcilable differences that play
a major rule for divorce in marriages. Divorces can impact children when their
parents separate. There are financial burdens when ending a marriage. Who do
the children usually live with after the divorce, and which parent might be
best to live with.
Adult children who are
parents and married with children that have experienced divorce in their family
growing up are more likely to follow in their parent’s footsteps. These parents
with young children can have trouble making decisions or solving problems well
together because of their different points of views. For example, how parents
discipline their children differently instead of working together to punishment
their children. They have also witness their parents causing contentions in
trying to solve difficult problems the incorrect way. The married couple may
not know how to be good parents from seeing their parent’s examples.
There can be irreconcilable
differences between the two parents and things that cause them to end the
marriage. Parents have different perspectives in disciplining their children. For
example, there are inconsistencies where one parent doesn’t follow through with
punishment. Another variation is when parents each handle the money differently.
One could spend money on their things for their hobbies instead of paying for
house bills, clothes, and other expenses that are top priority for the family. Also,
they have incompatible careers where one parent works more at nights while the
other one travels more for work. In addition, death of a child who is chronically
ill which can be very stressful on the marriage. Parents grieving could cloud
their judgments of communication and blame each other for the loss. It’s
important that they get counsel if they are having a hard time working it out
on their own. With all the inconsistencies could lead the couple to a divorce.
There are many outcomes
that effect children in divorce families. One may be children believing they
don’t deserve to have their parents stay together. Children can be stressing
emotionally, socially, and physically in unhealthy ways. These children are
less likely to graduate high school and attend college then children whose
parents have successful marriages. They could marry someone out of wedlock and not
have a successful marriage. In addition, the roles of the children in the
family could change when there is only one parent in the household. No matter
what age the children are and their parents get a divorce it can still affect
them.
When parents get a
divorce, it does not come cheap for both of them and for their children. Parents
now have to own their separate homes and be financially independent. Moreover,
children have to travel back and forth between the two homes. There has to be
more things added in the homes for the children. Typically, children have less
access to spend time with both parents because the father is working while the
mother is going back to college.
The children usually live
with their mother because the courts request the fathers to earn more money
than he is already making. He may even move conveniently away from the ex-wifes’s
house to receive a better paying job. The father has full responsibility to pay
for child support. The children get more attention from the parent that they
live with. If a parent speaks badly about the other spouse, children will perceive
this negative view about their other parent. This will lead them to think I don’t
want to see mom/dad anymore. It easier if the father doesn’t come to visit because
of so much tension between the two parents. The father may want to be a “Disneyland
dad” and not make his children do chores while they are visiting because he
wants to be the fun parent.